Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
My vagina just clenched in fear
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
