Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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