There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
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