Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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