So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
