I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
My life is pants optional.
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