if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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