Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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