dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
