You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
