I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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