lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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