wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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