So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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