this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
