if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
