that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
