We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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