guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
being pregnant is like rehab
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Randomize
