He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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