OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
