Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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