its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
