what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Randomize
