he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
