Where is the hickey?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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