words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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