Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
