apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
