Me. At least after what I've been through.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
