Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Ambien. No doubt about it.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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