Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
