He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
