is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
