i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
