Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
