The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I smell like Dick and happiness
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