ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
