i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
