I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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