You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize