I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
