my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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