if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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