So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
