I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
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