i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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