well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Randomize
