Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
