Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I made him laugh his dick is mine
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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