I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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