Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
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