just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize