I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
