no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
