respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
