That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
