smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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