She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
