well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Randomize
