I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize