how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
