Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize