As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
