The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
