I never want to see another naked old woman again.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
