I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
