If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
