So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
