he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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