I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
