guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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